New Age Amazon

a girl who does stuff

  • 8th November
    2012
  • 08
  • 15th October
    2012
  • 15
REI’S ZOMBIE SURVIVAL INFOGRAPHIC
I’ve gotta slightly disagree with the vest.  It’s potentially grab-able and won’t come free unless you unzip it…meaning you’re in bite range for far too long.
Also: whacking with a frying pan is risky.  Zombies don’t feel pain so it isn’t as effective as against a living target.  That said, if you think it’ll give you some room, whack away.
Finally: shining a light in a zombie’s eyes to disorient it?  LOL no.  If you are close enough to shine that shit in it’s face and all you have is a flashlight, just suck it up and get used to moaning “BRAAAAAAAAAINS.”
FOR FURTHER TIPS, PLEASE SEE THIS EXCELLENT FIELD GUIDE.

REI’S ZOMBIE SURVIVAL INFOGRAPHIC

I’ve gotta slightly disagree with the vest.  It’s potentially grab-able and won’t come free unless you unzip it…meaning you’re in bite range for far too long.

Also: whacking with a frying pan is risky.  Zombies don’t feel pain so it isn’t as effective as against a living target.  That said, if you think it’ll give you some room, whack away.

Finally: shining a light in a zombie’s eyes to disorient it?  LOL no.  If you are close enough to shine that shit in it’s face and all you have is a flashlight, just suck it up and get used to moaning “BRAAAAAAAAAINS.”

FOR FURTHER TIPS, PLEASE SEE THIS EXCELLENT FIELD GUIDE.

  • 16th November
    2011
  • 16

We Are Already Infected

You have to face
the awful truth:
one day
the shambling
zombie hordes will
descend upon us
ripping your friends
and family
limb from limb
or worse,
infecting them with the
zombie virus
(created by an
unchecked multinational
corporation
who placed profits
above human life
while working on a
secret
government
contract)
meaning you might
be forced to shoot
them in the head.

But enough about that.

This is the
awful truth:
on that day
there will only be
so many
malls
to go around.
Call dibs on the one
with the best stores
while there is still time.

  • 9th October
    2011
  • 09
  • 7th October
    2011
  • 07
  • 3rd October
    2011
  • 03
  • 11th October
    2010
  • 11
  • 15th October
    2009
  • 15

Don’t Fuck Zombies

Dan Savage says so:

A question in the spirit of the season: Can zombie sex ever be consensual? Because I think if confronted with a zombified Zac Efron, I might go for it if he were properly restrained. Can you teach a zombie a safe word? Does it count if it’s “braaaains”? It’s not necrophilia with the WALKING dead, is it? What would you say is the sexual morality of this situation?

Hope In Zombie Zac If Ethical

If you’d seen Zombieland, HIZZIE, you’d know that a hot person, once transformed into a zombie, isn’t hot anymore. A pretty girl falls asleep in the arms of Zombieland's nebbishy hero and awakes as a thoroughly hideous flesh-eating monster. Even a zombified Zac Efron—I'm going to resist the obvious joke—would be too repulsive to fuck. Think of the gore, the viscera; think of the Axe body spray.

As for the morality of the situation, fucking zombies is still necrophilia, technically speaking, but practically speaking, it comes closer to bestiality. A human being who has been zombified is nothing but an animal, hungry for brains, incapable of thought, much less consent. We can kill animals for their flesh, but we mustn’t fuck them, HIZZIE; we can kill zombies for wanting our flesh, but likewise we mustn’t fuck them.

  • 12th October
    2009
  • 12