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So shocked and sad to hear that The Toonseum here in Pittsburgh was robbed today. Among what was taken was the director’s laptop, which contained a lot of the planning materials for the upcoming Comics Arts Festival being thrown to celebrate the National Cartoonists Society Conference being held in our city this year.
The Toonseum is an amazing place, it helps to preserve and share comics, cartoons and animation as an artform. They run classes for students of all ages, bring some great exhibits and artists to the area and throw some pretty damn sweet shindigs.
If you are able to help them out at all in the wake of this robbery, please head to their donation page. If not, please at the very least pass this message along!
Ah, the first snowfall of the year! No accumulation, but it’s the first morning I’ve woken up and walked to the bus stop while sparkling flakes drifted down around me.
Of course, I forgot what this does to drivers in this city.
I now recreate, in detail, the thoughts I assume go through the head of your average driver when faced with the year’s first snowfall:
Shit! Shit! What’s going on? There’s…frozen water or something falling from the sky! We have never witnessed this phenomenon before! What could it mean? Are we headed into another ice age? Fuck, I bet that’s it! It’s just like in that movie, The Day After Tomorrow. God, that movie sucked. Who was in that? That guy…damn, can’t remember his name. Should have paid better attention, because now we’re going to die.
Then again, if I’m the first one to figure this out, I could totally start my own tribe! We could band together to survive, with me as their fearless leader! And I bet there’d be other tribes too! Like one that believes this is God’s punishment and all they do is try to repent! And cannibals! Lots of cannibals.
Oh, hey, and I bet there’d be a whole tribe of women who find a hidden series of hot springs in the mountains and settle their tribe there. And they learn to be self sufficient and hunt and make their own clothing. Which would mostly be fur bikinis since they live near the warm hot springs.
But they’d be desperate for the touch of a man and…DENNIS QUAID! THAT’S the actor I couldn’t think of! Right.
Fuck, I just crashed my car.
Stupid snow. It’s all your fault.
It’s SNOW, people of Pittsburgh. Get used to it. You’ll be seeing a fair amount of it from now until about June.
I don’t want an orgy, I can barely ride the bus
then I peed my pants a little.
Wasps tumble from her palms.
I love because He first loved me But that doesn’t mean that I love the way he wants me.
I think everyone hates me sometimes.
Sometime when it’s quiet, tell me what you hear.
He shouted - perhaps threateningly, perhaps provocatively - and I quickened my step.
Let’s not forget backflips! Spines like spaghetti!
Who knew insane would taste like cashews?
We stole a tray of carrots from the picnic and got in the runaway car as fast as possible.
I couldn’t see through it.
The day I realized my feet were my eyes.
Handy people with really soft hands
Dreamed of something terrible, but forgot what it was.
The way out is a way in.
The lock is broken, the door is open.
My female is actually very male.
It’s not gay marriage. It’s marriage.
The princess squirmed against her sausage-like captors.
You make me feel very banana
it wasn’t until I ate it,
and that’s how you tell kids a story.
Me no hungry.
I thought she was at least eighteen.
I spend plenty of time up my own ass.
I wish I had
elbow macaroni blast into space.
(This is the Exquisite Corpse created by the attendees of the Pittsburgh Zine Fair! Thanks to everybody who came out to the event and a special thanks to everyone who submitted a line for this poem! If you missed a chance to submit at the fair, don’t worry, we are ALWAYS accepting lines at Our Exquisite Corpse! So send one in!)