New Age Amazon

So, one of today’s trending topics on Twitter was #geekpickuplines. Here is a collected list of my contributions:

• As Yoda would say “Nice shoes you have, fuck me you should.”
• I can’t make you a summoner, baby, but I can make your horn rise >:)
• Forget the dungeon, you and I should move straight on to the boss fight
• Now keep in mind I can’t control when the sex begins or ends. Because I used those special parts to build my robot friends
• Touch me like I’m a Nintendo DS
• Make me scream like I’m Dinah Lance
• Marty, you have to go down…on my clit!
• The Justice League isn’t around, but you can still play with my Wonder Twins
• Wanna read my flavor text, baby?
• Tonight I’ll be your Khaleesi, but tomorrow night you’re my Red Viper. I
•  think you’re my epic destiny
• My name’s Betty and I’m on the rebound.
• Baby, I won’t just rock your world, I will rock your MULTIVERSE.
• I’ve got Mountain Dew flavored lube.
• Neta sa mega y lrulupu, pedlr! (Note: this is al bhed for “Ride me like a chocobo, bitch!”)
• I kiss like Jean Grey, but I fuck like The Phoenix.
• I’ll fuck you harder than the Kobayashi Maru

And my personal favorite: Baby, I love you so much that if Joss Whedon were writing our romance one of us would be dead by now.

So, I on occasion find fanfiction simply fascinating.  Like, “why would you write that?” fascinating.  I am, unfortunately, of the mind that as soon as you think “there can’t be fanfiction for THAT,” you will find fanfiction for THAT.  And possibly a thriving fandom with all kinds of creepy ass politics.

In the past, I have been accidentally exposed to Nightmare Before Christmas Slash (there is never a reason for Jack/Oogie.  Ever.), and have purposely gone looking for NFL slash (as a joke, and I was punished by stumbling across surprise Manning brothers incest, so there).  But today, I had a terrifying thought:

There HAS to be Back to the Future slash fic.  Specifically, Doc Brown/Marty McFly slash fic.

Now, in case you’re new to fanfiction, “slash” is same sex pairings.  That term, like a lot of other crazy shit fans do, can be blamed, I believe, on Star Trek fans.  So when I say Doc/Marty slash, I mean Doc and Marty in male/male situations.

So I googled.  And I didn’t even have to scroll through entries.  Because the first one brought me to a treasure trove of Doc/Marty lovin’.  And of course, it’s on Livejournal.

“Marty … can you kiss me, please?

“Are you really want it? Maybe we should…”

“On the mouth.”

“What?”

“I said that you must kiss me on the mouth.”

“Oh yeah, I understand. Okay.”

Their faces came closer and closer until Doc grabbed his friend by the neck and kissed him on the mouth. It was a long kiss, the longest one they had ever in his life. As they broke the kiss, Marty began to laugh.

“What?” asked Doc the laughing Marty.

“I don’t even kissed someone in a car. And never in a DeLorean, but it happened today. This is curious.”

-from “A Curious Place to Kiss”

Really, now?  That’s…wow.  Yeah.  I am sort of lost for words.

Even better?  There’s fanart.